It’s something when we answer our callings in Christ, pursue our passions, and/or just strive for a living and find ourselves still not seeing much fruit of our labor. We toil all day and all night with faith that one day it will all pay off.
Answering our calling more often than not involves things we were already doing. I talked to people about their issues all the time, I loved to write poems and short stories, and I made it a point to empower other women to strive for greater. I did this way before, giving my life to Christ, pursuing my degree in counseling, or writing my first novella. After giving my life to Christ my initial passion was simply to get to know him.
Those things I were doing prior weren’t on my radar anymore and I never looked at it as ministry. I had oftentimes found myself pouring into people with very little to no evidence of me pouring, outside of feeling the drain of it all. I was worn, tired, and at my wits in when Jesus stepped into my boat.
I was at a point where I just wanted to make a living and do what I could for the kingdom of God through my service at my local church. It did not involve helping women, being a listening ear, giving words of wisdom or advice. I opted to assist with cleaning, singing (no I cannot sing I make a joyful noise), and being a help to my leaders anyway I could.
Well, I was blessed with a job working with troubled teen girls and the praise team was made up of young ladies who gravitated to me. I tried to keep my boundaries but it didn’t work and I found myself with a ministry for at risk teen girls and single mothers.
I work that ministry and I worked that ministry with what seemed to no avail. I saw no real fruit. My girls were growing up and falling away from the teachings, yet draining me with their problems because they refused to use the tools giving. My resources were drying up because I lost my job. I found myself tired again.
I was ready to throw in the towel and give up. Until one day the Lord spoke to me. He said, “you can’t run from this,” and at that moment my phone rang. I was asked to speak at a youth conference. I wanted to decline. Out of obedience to my leader I spoke. It was my first time speaking or preaching outside of our congregation or any youth I hadn’t already ministered to or in a conference.
That changed the course of my ministry. Several young girls and women gave their life to Christ. My ministry went higher and my spirit was shifted. God knows when to have us to thrust into the deep and let down our nets.
He comes at the point of us washing our nets in despair and frustration. But, that isn’t what he looks at, he looks at our hearts and knows if we have the love and passion for people to press on even when there is no return and out of obedience to his word.