It is much harder to forgive people from our past, such as parents, who we depend on as children to provide, love, nurture, and to protect us. The betrayal of parents is the hardest blow to one’s heart, mind, and soul. Learning that type of betrayal at a stage where our minds are developing and we are learning how to behave, love, react, respond, and how we should perceive ourselves, has crippling effects on how we view the world in a whole.
The effects caused by this, is often times self-destructive behavior. It’s not always in the form of attempting suicide, or drug use. A lot of it is in the form of seeking approval from others. People who seek the approval or love of others are often times promiscuous. When they are feeling down about their self, they seek others to pick them up by engaging in intimacy. This false sense of love or acceptance only last for a moment. When in an actual relationship the behavior can be a little irate. Jealously is often the biggest problem. Fear that the person that is filling that void is sharing his/her love with someone else. Remaining faithful is often a problem in every area of their life. Any disappointments can send the person in a different direction trying to find something pleasant or pleasurable to help ease that pain. There are many other behaviors, but I want you to get the basis of what I am saying.
Finding our way to forgiveness after pains of this magnitude, it takes some real soul searching. Searching that will dig past, the present pain, that is covering the pain of your past. It’s just like a seed of hurt has been planted earlier and that tree has grown up with you. As the tree grows, you fertilize it with learned behavior and it produces leaves of the hurt and fruit of pain. The first step in chopping this tree down is to look at yourself first and forgive you. Nothing you could have done could have prevented the events of your childhood. Stops asking the question why me? This only sets you back and sets you up for failure. You then must do the ultimate and forgive those who despitefully used you, while asking them to forgive you as well. Why, you might ask. When you ask them to forgive you for holding un-forgiveness in your heart, you are taking back your power. The power they held over you for so many years. The power for you to be free and live the life God called you to live. The final step is if you have not already asked Christ to come into your heart. He is the only one that can fill that void place in your life. Don’t feel ashamed because we all were formed with that space that only God can feel. If you have already given your life to Christ, then I would urge you to go and ask Him to fill that void as well.
Just because we give our life over to Christ doesn’t mean we gave Him all of us. Anytime we hold un-forgiveness, then that means you haven’t given Him your all. I would suggest for reading the book of John, read it in the morning after you pray and before you go to bed, because that is the book of passion. This book is very intimate and it goes in-depth of Jesus’s passion and love for us. Let the words fill your heart as you picture each event in your mind, especially our Savior’s journey to the cross that we might be free from all bondage.
I pray this has helped someone as it has helped me some years ago, and still does till this day.
God bless you